Updated: Feb 13
Have you ever thought that maybe your communication with your pet isn’t clear enough.
This shows up the most when you’re trying to change your pets behavior.
Their behavior either changes, or it doesn’t.
You know what you want your pet to do...
Stop jumping on people!
Stop dragging me down the street on the leash!
You did not just growl/snap at that kid/stranger/visitor/grandma! We talked about this...
Please use your litter box!
Stop barking! You’re driving me crazy and the neighbors are complaining.
Stop spooking at nothing!
Would you just eat your food, already? Why are you so picky, I paid a lot of money for that food.
And so on and so on.
From the human’s perspective, communication seems very clear.
So what’s the animal’s problem?
They aren’t much different than...
When the kids aren’t taking their bath and going to bed on time.
Or leaving their toys and trash everywhere for someone else (you) to clean up.
Dirty dishes not taken back to the kitchen.
Your spouse when he/she never puts such and such away.
Why are they deliberately trying to ruin my life, or mood or…
It feels like my needs aren’t important to them.
Maybe it’s because your intention doesn’t match your actions.
You think your “cues” are clear. but in fact it’s the exact opposite.
Communicating clearly and precisely is actually incredibly challenging. I can’t tell you how many times (every time) when I’m out walking my dog and a neighbor is walking their dog. Every time the dog pulls hard on the leash and barks like crazy. What is the person doing? He or she is saying “Stop that, it’s okay. ” in a very sweet voice.
This drives me a bit crazy!
If your child was not doing what you asked him/her to do, after multiple times, would you use a sweet voice? No, of course not. You would be firm and direct.
Think....What do you think the dog hears and understands?
Answer: What I’m doing is perfectly fine with my owner.
Your communicate is not clear.
It’s true with people and it’s especially true when you’re communicating with animals. Which is why you may need help from someone to guide you as well as mediate between you and your pet, and lovingly correct your efforts to understand each other.
Then... everything changes.
If your animal is misbehaving, there is something you're saying, thinking, or doing that's causing that to happen, or contributing to it, or missing entirely.
Note: any medical issues must be ruled out of course. My Oslo is now totally deaf.
So my words & tone of voice mean nothing to him. It took me a while to realize he was deaf. Now between my hand movements and the picture in my mind, he gets it.
Your animals and other people are not stupid or clueless even though it can certainly seem that way at times.
They're responding to what you're telling them combined with what they think, which is just as important. If you're getting resistance and pushback and nothing changes, it's because you're communicating poorly.
***Don’t just focus on what you don’t want. Tell them what you do want, and why that's important.
You may have heard the saying “What you focus on expands?” If you forget this important piece to the animal communication puzzle, you're making the problem worse. Your pet sees what you’re focusing on in your mind’s eye and hears and interprets part of what you say because you weren't 100% clear, then thinks you want more of that.
“So you WANT me to jump/bark/growl/nip, etc? Sure, I can do that…”
Now, try talking to a Spiritual Being disguised as an animal and let me know what you find out. Not sure yet how to communicate at this level? I’m here to help.
There are many books out there on the subject. I certainly haven’t read them all, but my favorite is "Animal Lessons" by Danielle-MacKinnon.